Date Night

 Arcturus checked his clock and noticed it was October 1st. It was time to decorate for Halloween. While he was setting up his big ghost light, a neighborhood kid ran by and pulled Arcturus's pants down. No respect.

Looks...

...kinda nice, actually.

After decorating, Arcturus checked his biological clock and noticed he was dying. It was time to get serious about finding a lady to settle down with and then having a kid with that lady so this blog doesn't die with him.

Every Sim has a list of "wishes". If you do what they say, you get "lifetime happiness" points that you can use to buy "lifetime rewards" that make your Sims life easier. The reward called "Acclaimed Author", for example, costs 30,000 points and increases royalty checks on the books you write.

That being said, Arcturus "wishes" he was having sex with Constance.

"WooHoo"?... Ohhhh, I get it. Tee-hee.

Arcturus called Constance over. He was gonna try his hardest to get laid tonight. YEAH!

This is how he greeted her. He can never just play it cool, huh?

Constance showed up in her work uniform again. Good start. He invited her in and made dinner while she played on his computer. When he had finished making hamburgers, he called her over and sat at the kitchen table. Arcturus hadn't cleaned up after breakfast that morning, so his plate from earlier was still at the kitchen table. I guess Constance thought a ghost was sitting there because instead of just moving the plate, she went outside to sit in the enclosed porch area. They both ate in silence. Smooth moves, Arcturus.

After dinner, they still didn't really talk and Arcturus was so tired that he just went to bed without telling her. Maybe he could get a quick nap in and wake back up without her noticing and leaving. Then they could get it on. All night long.

In the meanwhile, Constance goofed around on the computer until it blew up. She started to lose her mind and scream at the top of her lungs. She was really tired though and maybe she didn't have the money to pay for the repairs. Can't blame her for the screams, honestly.

Constance started looking for Arcturus who she hadn't seen in a few hours. She went into his dark bedroom and turned the lights on. Arcturus jumped out of bed and tried to act like he hadn't been asleep since dinner. One side of his face was all red and imprinted with the blankets he was sleeping on though. Constance walked over to him and told him the bad news about his computer. Arcturus responded to the news by asking if she wanted to "spend the night". She didn't seem too thrilled with the question.

She felt bad about breaking his computer though and it was really late, so she agreed under one rule: "Just don't touch me." Arcturus was like, "COOL!" He was making progress. The wish to have sex tonight was looking grim because they were both so tired, but maybe he could try in the morning. "We're never going to WooHoo," Constance said as if she was reading his mind. Arcturus cried. But this time it wasn't just because he was sad. He had to keep her eyes on him while she walked to the other side of the bed. She hadn't noticed the Katy Perry poster yet and he desperately needed her to never notice it. By the time she made it to her side, Arcturus was already asleep again. What a stud. "Why does this man have a dresser decorated in hearts and a bed with cloud sheets?" she thought as she turned out the lights.

Constance was in luck. Sometimes Arcturus wears women's pajamas
to bed so he has some spare outfits in his dresser.

The next morning, Arcturus woke up at 11am. He dressed for work and flew out the door. He had planned to wake up super early to take down the Katy Perry poster before Constance saw it, but she had been awake for hours so, yeah, she definitely saw it. Allowing her to enter this "bedroom of horrors" without a bit or redecorating and cleaning out the women's clothes in the heart dresser was a pretty grave mistake. The chances of having sex with Constance were so far gone that Arcturus just thought it was funny at this point.

"I put up that Katy Perry poster as a goof. I swear to God!"
Arcturus yelled as he ran away.

Constance got dressed and left. She didn't have a key to lock up Arcturus's house but she didn't care either. I'm surprised she even closed the door behind her.

Oh jeez, ...and where exactly did she find this outfit in Arcturus's house?

New House!

 Arcturus woke up and went outside. A taxi was already waiting for him. He rubbed his eyes and checked his watch. He had to be at work in about 2 hours but figured he could make get this move done before then.

He never really packed any bags, but he has everything that was in his house in his "family inventory". Even his toilet is part of his move like he disconnected it, and carried it outside leaving all the piping sticking out of the floor. The taxi driver asked, "You don't have any bags?" and Arcturus said, "No, but is it cool if I put my stove in the passenger seat?"

Arcturus can't look back at his house or he will be sad!

Hey, wait, this driver looks familiar. Oh yeah, it's the same carpool driver from Arcturus's carpooling days. The guy probably realized he was just driving Arcturus around anyway so why not get paid to do it. Arcturus leaned forward and said, "Can you drive a little faster, chief? I'd like to unpack at least one box before work." He sat back, muttered "Jesus" and noticed that Driver actually slowed down.

Look at how Arcturus is looking at the back of Driver's head. He's even got a little smirk. They both know they know each other but neither one will ever mention it. Arcturus wasn't going to give this guy a tip either. For various reasons.

This was the photo from when he first visited the house. A reminder
of how it looks from the outside.

Arcturus arrived, walked in, checked his watch, sighed, changed and walked back out.

I looked at his face as he came out to go to work and thought, "Oh, just get over it, man." I mean, yeah, it turned out 2 hours wasn't really enough time to move into a new house. Maybe you should have considered the length of time it would take for passive agressive Driver to get you there!

While he was away at work though, I fixed the house up, remodeled, and installed all his old furniture so he could just chill when he got home.

Out of all the furniture in the place, the sofa, bookshelf and countertops are just about the only things that didn't come from his old house. I even changed the garage into an enclosed glass porch area to put his old patio furniture in there.

When he got home, he looked at the new place with all his old furniture and teared up a little. I think he loved it.

"I'll never be sad here," he whispered
Off in the distance I heard someone yell, "Yeah, right!"

Daytime!

Nighttime!

He went to bed and during the night I installed a Katy Perry poster for him to enjoy upon waking up. He sure did seem pleased with it too. Even put his fist up to the screen so we could virtually fist-bump. Then he asked me to close my eyes so he could have "private time" with it. I was like, "You got it, bro."

"I'm gonna imagine that microphone is... something else."

Town News

 While Arcturus was looking for a house, there was some action over at the Broke's. Here's some things to remember: Hunter and Ruby were dating and her uncle was arrested because Hunter called the cops on him. Surely Arcturus's article was a bad start, but Hunter calling the police really hammered the last nail in the coffin. Flat Broke's coffin, that is! Eh?... Eh?

I suppose Ruby called Hunter over to chat in person. Or maybe he decided to show up after she kept hanging the phone up on him. Either way, he went over to her house in a really bad mood.

She came to the door and yelled at him a lot. I guess they broke up. Check out the look on Hunter's face! He probably went home and cried quarts that night. I'm sure of it.

After Arcturus saw Hunter leave, he called Ruby and asked if she was in the mood for some partying at his house. She hung up on him. Jeez. Arcturus was really insulted. It's like you can't even indirectly-kill-a-girl's-dad-one-night-and-then-ask-her-out-the-next these days!

In other news, Arcturus got a promotion from "Investigative Journalist" to "Weather Man" which makes a lot of sense, right? The game capitalized the job title as if he were a superhero or something though.

 

"Weather Man is the only job where you can be wrong 100% of the time and still be valued"? Ha. Not in Philadelphia. Mess up a forecast here and you die. But Arcturus has it pretty easy in Riverview. He shouldn't be anything other than 100% correct all the time because the game doesn't have weather. It's sunny every day. He won't even need to look at the Doppler. Hell, the station probably doesn't have one. His weather forecasts will be "Remember yesterday? Yeah, that's now. You can pretty much fill that in for the month too."

Is he happy about his promotion? Why of course not. Arcturus is never happy. He's either sad or, like in the photo above, brain dead.

Well, he's also scared too. Sometimes he's definitely scared. I just enlarged this photo and noticed that his bike is flying about an inch or so off the ground. That's probably what's bothering him right there.

Anyway, this would be the last day that Arcturus was going to live in his original house. He had decided to move into House #2: the small house with a lot of neighbors and a really large unnecessary garage. (Thanks for voting!) He would pack when he got home from work and leave the next morning at the crack of dawn.

Time To Move

 While looking in the newspaper for a new house, Arcturus remembered he lived within walking distance of all these houses, so he just hit the streets. By the time he reached the first house he was really sweaty and just wanted to go home.

He found a few houses he could afford though. Here they are:

OPTION #1

This house has a garage. We all know Arcturus hates cars so he would have to convert it into, like, a workshop or something. Sell off the garage door, driveway and maybe even that entire portion of the house to make some money back. Or he could use the giant garage to park his bike, maybe.

OPTION #2

This house seems to have the same problems that the first option has. For example, it too looks like it got hit with the "fugly stick". It also has a garage. One that appears to be larger than the house itself even. Option #1 and #2 are right next to each other too. That's a fact that we all deserve to know. A lot of people live around this area of Riverview, so he would have a lot of new neighbors to interact with.

OPTION #3

Here's a nice little log cabin with a porch. One of the two rivers that runs through town can be seen behind the house. Also, nice pink trees that are pink forever because seasons don't exist in this town... yet! (The Sims 3 Seasons out this November!) If he were to move here, he would be closer to the central island, but the large houses nearby are empty. Not a lot of neighbors, but maybe that's what Arcturus needs right now.

OPTION #4

A two-story house with a little porch. The first floor is pretty standard and there are two tiny bedrooms on the second floor. I don't understand why the driveway ends so far from the street. Or why the mailbox is just hanging out in the yard there. It looks like this house is in the middle of nowhere, but it's only down the street from Options #1 & #2. Also, I would probably change the color of the siding because it looks pretty drab.

Those are the 4 choices Arcturus has. Now you can vote for which house Arcturus moves into! Either leave a comment on this post or twitter or email me to let me know which house you think he should live in. Come on. It'll be fun.

Here's one last video to show the relationships between locations of the four options.

Breaking News...

 Another day off from work. I had to check Arcturus's schedule to make sure he wasn't fired. He wasn't though. He just has 7-day long weekends.

Arcturus took this time to write a "negative article" about Buck Broke, including photos of his trash findings from the night before. He even dressed up for work to feel better about himself while doing it!

Boop... boop... boop.

It's good that people don't get arrested in Riverview for looking through other people's trash. That's what makes this town so special. It's actually encouraged here.
After the article was complete, Arcturus emailed it to his boss, Hunter. Then, this message popped up:

Terrifying. He did not appreciate it? Arcturus was worried about the consequences. Luckily for him, Hunter had already called the cops. As it turned out, Hunter was dating Buck's niece, Ruby, and had talked to Buck before on several occasions. Hunter always thought Buck was a creepy guy so this news didn't surprise him much.

So, what was the article about? Well, Buck had been selling the body parts of dead people that he collected as a burial specialist. What did Arcturus find in the Broke's bottomless trashcan? Receipts for those transactions,... d'ya'see? And why was Buck writing receipts for body parts in the first place? Well, he is neurotic, so let's just blame that.

Later that night, Arcturus saw some flashing lights turn into the Broke driveway. This was the big moment. Arcturus turned all the lights out in his house and ran to the window, trying to see into the Broke's house.

"Can't wait to meet the idiot that writes up a receipt for an arm."

"You have the right to remain silent. Any... oh, just put these cuffs on, ya nut"

"Uncle Buck is going away for a long time, Ruby. Also, put some pants on."

Buck was cuffed and taken away. I bet he really regretted throwing away those receipts, huh? Um, yeah,... he regretted it! As he was being put into the cop car, Buck glared in the direction of Arcturus's house and Arcturus, who was still watching from the window, screamed and dove under his dining table. This was probably not the last he would ever see of Buck, but it sure would be a while. He had to make it up to Flat somehow but he figured it would be best to just not bother the Broke family for a little bit. I mean, give them space, Arcturus! It's not like Flat is gonna die anytime soon!

Ohmygodwhat!? Arcturus heard that news and went outside to what he calls, "the newspaper bush" to pick the latest newspaper out of the mud and start searching for a new house. Since he thoroughly destroyed the lives of the only neighbors around, it was probably best that he just move away from this neighborhood.

Now, hum Sarah McLachlan's "I Will Remember You" while you watch this video.:

Mini-Update

 The audacity of this newspaper girl:

You'll think about it!?

Yeah, it's messy, but you gotta stop hiding them.

The Search

 Before bed, Arcturus hit the internet. After a few minutes of research, he discovered that Buck Broke is actually Flat's brother, not his son. Arcturus yawned. That was not the incriminating info he was looking for. So he ate some organic spaghetti and went to bed.

As an "investigative journalist" part of the job description includes the following line:

"...rummage through other Sims' trash to dig up dirt then hit the computer and start typing."

So, it was 4am or something when I woke Arcturus up to go search the Broke's trashcan. If you have to find something out about someone, you search through their garbage. We all know that because that's how the real world works. Arcturus was all too willing too. He even dressed up for the occasion. He was hoping to find a dead body that Buck had stuffed in there Klopek-style.

Is that a human leg!? Ah... no, it's a turkey leg.

There was no dead body though. At least not on the surface. But this trashcan apparently ran deep because Arcturus spent a few hours looking through it. Was that trashcan a portal to another world? Oscar the Grouch's house? I dunno, but the amount of time he spent in there was pretty unreal.

"Is that Buck!?"

Every few minutes, Arcturus would look around all scared. I was like, "Maybe you should just stop now? The sun is rising, people are now walking around and no matter how many ways you rub that empty egg carton, it ain't talking."

"I know I've been looking for 2 hours, but there's gotta be something here."

And people were walking around. Some man in his underwear was sitting at the top of the slide they had in their yard too. I kinda missed him climbing the ladder unless he had just been there all night, which is definitely a possibility. I guess the guy on the slide wasn't looking in the direction of the street either because he would've surely noticed his well-dressed neighbor with his head in a trashcan. Ruby was walking out of her house but Arcturus wasn't phased by it because, as he thought, "That party animal will understand if she sees me." Flat was there too. Cool! 'Sup, Flat?

Dude still hasn't gone down that slide?

It was about 7am or later by the time Arcturus had wrapped up his search. He took the banana peel out of his hair and threw it back in the trash. Check out at all the people milling around the front yard by that point:

...and nobody thought to yell, "Hey! Arcturus! What in the world are you doin', man?"

Anyway, the game delivered this message to me at this point (dead. serious.):

"Dumpster diving very rarely proves to be a profitable venture but this time it looks like Arcturus has dug up some juicy info regarding Buck Broke!"

Arcturus knew it. Buck was a creepo and the game had just confirmed it. Now it was time to go home and think about what to do next. But before he did that, he just had to meet the guy who had sat on top of the slide for the past few hours.

"So, this is the silly fuck who thinks I didn't see him searching our trash."

The guy's name is Trigger Broke, but he will always be "Slide Man" in Arcturus's heart. After the handshake with Slide Man, Arcturus ran home... but he was followed!

"I know you're in there," Buck whispered, licking his lips.

Arcturus didn't notice that Buck had followed him, so he went to take a shower. While in the shower, he heard faint music being played. It sounded like the funeral march. When he got out and looked into the backyard, he almost passed out. Arcturus tried to call the cops but the phone line was cut. He figured he would have to wait Buck out.

"Arthur. Please come out. I need to talk to you."

Buck played the guitar for hours. All day actually. He would not leave or move at all. So, Arcturus finally just went to bed.

Arcturus is having nice dreams. He's even got a little grin on his face.

Eventually, Buck got tired enough to go back to his house. He didn't have real plan as it turned out, but he knew Arcturus was in his trash and he knew what he had put in there the day before. Arcturus would figure out what to do about it all tomorrow.

Time to Meet the Neighbors... [Part Deux]

"I hope he likes my house"

So, the new guy that walked in was Buck's dad, I think. I really don't know and there's no way of telling. I could only see that the "Broke" household consisted of an older man and woman and a younger man and woman. That was enough evidence to convince me that this dude that just waltzed in was Buck's dad.
The man's name was Flat because the game thought it was a funny idea to make him poor and then name him Flat Broke. Other than Stanley, I can't think of anyone in history ever being named 'Flat'. Anyway, Flat and Arcturus were getting along pretty well and Arcturus was relieved that this guy wasn't nearly as weird as his son who had, by that point, disappeared into the back room again. "I never know what he's doing... back there," Flat said.

Arcturus and Flat talked about their jobs. Flat works at the grocery store. He talked about how the people there treat him poorly and he doesn't get paid enough but he can't quit because the economy is bad and he has to help support his family. Arcturus didn't care much for Flat's anecdotes though so he talked about being a journalist a lot. There was a moment in their conversation where the bubbles over Arcturus's head were happening so fast that they were overlapping each other. It may have been because Arcturus was still coming down from the nervous high he experienced dealing with Buck or it may have been because he didn't want to give Flat a chance to start talking about groceries again but either way, he would not shut up. The medical term for this condition is "diarrhea of the mouth".

Damn. Settle down, friend.

Flat was really happy about it though. The photo kinda makes it look like he wanted to eat Arcturus but I'm going to assume that he was just happy over meeting a potential new friend. I mean, someone in this town has to be a little normal, right? After a bit, Arcturus heard a noise behind him and turned to see Flat's daughter standing there.

"Why is dad talking to that city boy?"

Her name was Ruby. She kept telling Arcturus that she was a "party animal". Arcturus didn't give a flip. That's really all they said to each other before someone knocked on the door. Arctrus looked through the blinds to see what appeared to be a stereotypical homeless man on the porch. "Who is that righteous homeless dude?" Arcturus asked Ruby. He didn't wait for the answer because there was no way he wasn't going to meet this chowderhead.

This top-hatted weirdo, whose name is Lucky, is pretty rad in that he shakes Arcturus's hand and doesn't say "boo" to him before walking around him to get inside. Arcturus just stands there for a few seconds like some gigantic doof before following him. In the meanwhile, Buck was leaving for work and changed (on the front porch, mind you) into probably the last thing I would ever expect a "burial specialist" to wear on the job. Killer scarf though.

Back inside the Broke house, Arcturus started to chat with Lucky. He was instantly fascinated and came up with the idea to interview him for the newspaper. It's unfortunate Arcturus doesn't realize that nobody wants to read about some lunatic he just met but he's also the guy who wrote a 334 page biography with little to no facts about a random woman he worked with. He should get a new job because he work he's done as a writer just... isn't great.

So, Lucky just ranted like a madman (because he probably is a madman) while Arcturus furiously wrote stuff down to keep up with him. Here is a list of all the things Arcturus learned during this "interview":

Name: Lucky Perkins
Job: Unemployed
Traits: Easily impressed, Mooch, Genius, Kleptomaniac, Slob

Well, one of those things was a bit unexpected and it wasn't "unemployed". I felt bad for Flat who was trying to watch a football game, but instead had to stare at Lucky's pajamaed fanny through most of the fourth quarter. He was like, "Can't you guys just talk at Arcturus's house?" and Arcturus was like, "Shhhhhut up. I don't want him to know where I live, man. Come on now."

Despite Arcturus's fascination with Lucky, he couldn't stop thinking about his bed the whole night. Hmmm. Arcturus is always tired and on the edge of a good cry. Reminds me of me!

So Flat went to bed, Lucky walked out the door and Arcturus was just milling around the Broke house when Buck came home from work. Arcturus didn't want to be left alone with Buck again so he ran home. He actually ran.

Arcturus locked the door and exhaled. Safe at home where Buck couldn't hurt him. Arcturus had met some nice people at the Broke household, but was still nervous about Buck living so close to him. He promised himself to look into Buck's background when he got a chance. He is an "investigative journalist" after all.

Time to Meet the Neighbors...

 Arcturus had a day off from work. It was Wednesday. He was kinda bored. He didn't want to really start writing his next book just yet, so he decided to visit his neighbors. He had dealt with so much strange behavior from the people at work that he figured he could just relax with some normal people for once. Unfortunately, Riverview is filled with weirdos.

This approach reminds me of something.

Oh yeah. How appropriate.

When Arcturus crossed onto their property, he felt an unexplained chill. The wind picked up and thunder rolled in the distance. Arcturus walked up the steps of the front porch and knocked on the door. Looking through the dirty glass of the front window and thought he saw someone moving around inside. Nearly jumped outta his knickers though when someone stepped up onto the porch behind him and cleared their throat.

"You feel like you're in the right place, city boy?"

"Oh. Hi," Arcturus said, "I just came over to introduce myself. I'm Arcturus. You live here?" The man just stared for a bit and said, "My name is Buck and I'm here to... party." Arcturus kinda frowned a little at the reference from the "edited for TV" version of Kill Bill. It also made him nervous as all hell because he didn't really understand why that man even made the reference in the first place.

"He got a real pretty mouth, ain't he?", Buck asked his... inner demons(?)

"Want to come in? I can get you a drink... a dorito, even," Buck said. Now, Arcturus is a naive fellow and he sure couldn't see that this guy was thinking about his mouth, so he agreed to go in. But, let's never forget that Buck's first thought was Arcturus's mouth. His first thought! I don't think we'll ever know why.

Oh yeah, it was also his second thought too.

As Buck went inside, Arcturus looked around the neighborhood. Nobody was around. No witnesses. He looked out of the computer screen at me, pleading for help with his teary eyes. I had my arms folded and shook my head. "Get in there, you baby!"  He pulled at his collar a little and stepped into the house. Buck closed the door and locked it. Arcturus's heart sank. Buck walked to the back of the house and disappeared into the bedroom. Arcturus was feeling less comfortable about this visit by the minute. He just wanted to meet someone who wasn't a freak. While Buck was in the back room, Arcturus quickly called Constance. He needed someone to know where he was.

"Hey. I'm in my neighbor's house. The one on stone pylons.... Well, I'm telling you because this guy seems a little weird... I don't know why I went in! It was like I was being controlled against my will [editor's note: "tee-hee."]... Alright, I will. Bye." Arcturus had done his best trying to keep the conversation hushed so Buck wouldn't hear him. Then, he turned around.

A bead of sweat ran down Arcturus's face. This moment felt forever.

Buck stared blankly. Arcturus couldn't think straight. "Hey, Buck, y'know, I forgot I left a casserole in the oven. Heh. Everyone's doing that these days. So, I have to go, actually." "Who were you talking to on the phone?" Buck asked. Arcturus swallowed. Time passed. All Arcturus could come up with was, "The casserole?" Buck quickly moved between Arcturus and the door. "You know what I do for a living, Arthur? I'm a burial specialist."(This is actually his job as told to me by the game. Perfect.) Arcturus started to tear up. He was scurred, guys. Just then, there was a noise at the door and another man walked in.

Is Arcturus going to die here tonight?

... TO BE CONTINUED.